Tuesday, May 31, 2005


I ran across something in a fan fic story that I'd like to share. From what I can pick up from other stories by this author, she (I'm assuming it's a she from the name) is either Native American or familiar with many of the customs. In this case two people with a long love-hate relatioship are putting the dark side to rest and committing to each other. The friend guiding their committment has each one write down the hurtful and negative things each has done to the other. The lists are exchanged and burned while each one promises not repeat their acts or to let them stand in their way. The friend tossed lavender and other sweet herbs on the fire to chase away any bitterness that might remain.

This got me thinking. Perhaps this would be a way to release our own hurts and pain. Maybe the ones who caused the pain aren't available to apologize (or aren't willing to apologize) but we can release the painful memories and let them go.

Make a whole list on one sheet of paper or a pile with one item on each piece. Work up to the worst or start with the big ones. Burn 'em, bury 'em, tear 'em up into little pieces and scatter them on a windy day. Whatever works. Scatter flowers, burn incense, smudge them with sweet grass, soak them in your favorite perfume. Let the pain go with the smoke or the wind and let peace take its place.

Much, much easier said than done, I know. Heck, invite some friends over and have a wake (excuse to partay) while your're doing it. Give the bad memories a royal send off and bar the door behind them.

Somehow this isn't coming out as smoothly as I'd like it, but what the heck. :-)


sistercdr said...

Ive burned a list of hurts and old pains I've had trouble releasing before.  It really does help.

lisaram1955 said...

I DO tend to hold on to old hurts much longer than I should. I'm not sure your method would work...but, what the hey...it's worth a try, no?  Now, if I could only get a bunch of friends together, a la the ya-ya sisterhood, for such a party...  Lisa  :-]  

hope5555 said...

Sounds like a great idea.  Forgiveness is very healing.

chasingmoksha said...

Miss Smith in Jane Austen’s Emma did it when she decided to get over Mr. Elton.  And mimicking Emma in a contemporary sense, it was repeated in the movie Clueless.

I think it would work if a person attached themselves to objects, then the object would no longer have the power.

hestiahomeschool said...

We have done this on Imbolc (Candlemas, Groundhog day)...we found the ritual in Celebrating the Great Mother. You write the hurt on a small piece of paper and wrap it around a candle, and then light the candle.

Forgiveness is a gift we give ourselves, but it is never a one time thing...it is a process. It has taken me twenty seven years to forgive my rapists, but I can say now that there is mostly peace in my heart about it. I would not kill them if I could.